Yes, you are correct. You have just witnessed an entire month of posts have titles which contain the words 'Potato Diplomacy'. You have no idea why you have just witnessed this, you just have. The problem with this realization is that I am now out of titles for Abflats posts forever. I said last week that I would not call this week's post Potato Diplomacy IV, and I haven't. But, now the only titles I can think of doing are Not Potato Diplomacy Anymore II, III, IV, and so on. If you have any ideas of which I can call new Abflats posts in the future, please mail them to my P.O. box in north-east Asia. I've hidden a letter behind the grave stone of Benito Mussolini which contains the exact address. If you wish to mail me something, you must find that first.
If we just all get together and realize that the ultimate leaders of the world are aspen trees then everyone will get along just fantastically. It's really not that difficult. I know that fantastically is not an apple, but it works for the situation. I like to think of it as more of a locomotive. It makes more sense in the context of aspen trees ruling the world than in the context of like multiplication tables or even small baby seats. It's, also, no question that John Williams will be making the soundtracks to all these aspen trees. They will play it during they're bombardments of various countries in Antarctica.
Speaking of Antarctica, I've heard that Pringles, the chips, have decided that they will be running for office next election year. It's really surprising but I think it will be a good addition to the mix of candidates that know the difference between affect and effect. It will be interesting to see how the poles turn out in a year and some days. Good evening. Hello. I greeted you at the end of the post this time.
-Griffin
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Potato Diplomacy III
I have now concluded that the Potato Diplomacy titles have failed at their mission. This will be the final post with Potato Diplomacy. I leased three titles, so I'm comfortable with stopping here. It's incredibly frustrating to buy something that fails you. I'm looking at you every kangaroo to ever exist. You guys are really disappointing. When people first saw you with your stupid little pouches they thought you were really exciting creatures. Too bad we've come to find out the truth. You can no longer scam us with your Nigerian prince money scams anymore you idiotic kangaroos.
The fact that kangaroos are incredibly sub-par when it comes to meeting people's expectations is really beside the point. The real reason I wanted to talk about the fact that kangaroos are so bad is because turtles are really not cool. Turtles have hard shells, and anytime you want to look at them they go and hide in their hard shells. If you try opening their shells, too, they die. So they're really completely extremely useless. I have really nothing else to say about turtles except they're turtles.
If you had anything other than turtles or kangaroos to notice me talking about, you should have said something. I really could have used the extra topics in today's post. I was really just caught up in this whole post titling fiasco. Fiasco is a really strange word. So is spoon. It really defies the laws of physics. And by physics I mean not physics I mean like English I guess. English is also terrible.
-Griffin
The fact that kangaroos are incredibly sub-par when it comes to meeting people's expectations is really beside the point. The real reason I wanted to talk about the fact that kangaroos are so bad is because turtles are really not cool. Turtles have hard shells, and anytime you want to look at them they go and hide in their hard shells. If you try opening their shells, too, they die. So they're really completely extremely useless. I have really nothing else to say about turtles except they're turtles.
If you had anything other than turtles or kangaroos to notice me talking about, you should have said something. I really could have used the extra topics in today's post. I was really just caught up in this whole post titling fiasco. Fiasco is a really strange word. So is spoon. It really defies the laws of physics. And by physics I mean not physics I mean like English I guess. English is also terrible.
-Griffin
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Potato Diplomacy II
That's right, it's time for the annual potato diplomacy post. Annual as in every week. Not annual as in every year, which is what annual actually means especially if you are from Iceland. Not even especially from Iceland, I mean especially from Zimbabwe. It's really no contest as to how annual should be determined, but I like to think that it's up to anyone's interpretation as to what any word ever that exists means because we're all in this together and there are no rules when housing kangaroos.
Has anyone noticed that there are more rules on where growing trees is allowed than there are on what your name could be? Like, rules about growing trees inside of people's cars, inside of office toilets, inside of hollowed out trees, and inside buildings at all exist. There are no rules at all on what your name could be. Your name could be Pod Pod. That's not a joke, it could literally be Pod Pod. It could also be QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ. That would be extremely difficult to announce. Your parents could call you Carl for short, though.
More or less, the type of tree you can grow in certain situations vary dependent on the type of structure, the type of country, the type of embassies that are available in said country type, and the nomenclature of hermit crabs can be the right or wrong way as to which can be decided by many. You just read that sentence and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. How do you feel now? Not good I assume.
-Griffin
Has anyone noticed that there are more rules on where growing trees is allowed than there are on what your name could be? Like, rules about growing trees inside of people's cars, inside of office toilets, inside of hollowed out trees, and inside buildings at all exist. There are no rules at all on what your name could be. Your name could be Pod Pod. That's not a joke, it could literally be Pod Pod. It could also be QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ. That would be extremely difficult to announce. Your parents could call you Carl for short, though.
More or less, the type of tree you can grow in certain situations vary dependent on the type of structure, the type of country, the type of embassies that are available in said country type, and the nomenclature of hermit crabs can be the right or wrong way as to which can be decided by many. You just read that sentence and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. How do you feel now? Not good I assume.
-Griffin
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Potato Diplomacy I
Everytime I think of an off topic title for one of these posts, it always seems like I have already used this title before. Even though I normally just think of a random collection of words. I always feel that I have said that random collection of words before. Therefore, starting today, all Abflats posts will be titled Potato Diplomacy. This is the first Potato Diplomacy, so it gets I. The next one will be called Potato Diplomacy II, then III, and so on. Romans, they were a crazy bunch making numbers out of lines.
The title of this post was not the only thing I wished to talk about during today's post. There were hundreds of things that I wanted to mention. Unfortunately, I only have time to mention thirteen of them. So I will go ahead and get started. Porcupine, derivative, society, feral, mints, tooth, backwards, left, eleven, top hats, Gordon, fedora, and the Alps. That's really all I had time to talk about during this post. I can't mention the other ones because they would simply take up too much time. The reason I only said thirteen out of hundreds is because the time it would take to speak of all hundreds of the things I wanted to mention was just too great for the amount of time that I actually had to mention things.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, we can begin the third paragraph. Have you ever noticed how lightning doesn't make sense at all? Me too. It's extremely. Not to say that it sometimes isn't, just that it normally is. Adverbs are the secret to any healthy lifestyle. Along with carrots. Carrots and adverbs are really the only two things you need to do in order to lose weight fast. That's right, you're still reading this. This was the most pointless collection of words organized into sentences organized into three paragraphs that I have ever created.
-Griffin
The title of this post was not the only thing I wished to talk about during today's post. There were hundreds of things that I wanted to mention. Unfortunately, I only have time to mention thirteen of them. So I will go ahead and get started. Porcupine, derivative, society, feral, mints, tooth, backwards, left, eleven, top hats, Gordon, fedora, and the Alps. That's really all I had time to talk about during this post. I can't mention the other ones because they would simply take up too much time. The reason I only said thirteen out of hundreds is because the time it would take to speak of all hundreds of the things I wanted to mention was just too great for the amount of time that I actually had to mention things.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, we can begin the third paragraph. Have you ever noticed how lightning doesn't make sense at all? Me too. It's extremely. Not to say that it sometimes isn't, just that it normally is. Adverbs are the secret to any healthy lifestyle. Along with carrots. Carrots and adverbs are really the only two things you need to do in order to lose weight fast. That's right, you're still reading this. This was the most pointless collection of words organized into sentences organized into three paragraphs that I have ever created.
-Griffin
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Burdens and Turtles
Have you even ever eaten an apple? Was that alliteration OF COURSE IT WAS. Wow we're only two sentences into the post and there was already all-caps words. I do apologize. It's really not my fault anyway. I have absolutely no control over anything that is typed right here. You may think that because I use the word I in like a first-person perspective sort of thing that I would have an idea of what is being written. Quite the contrary, actually. These posts are really written in third-person, just about someone writing in first-person. Therefore I don't actually control what's being said.
It's very hard to believe that every single culture that has ever existed has had some sort of flying fish brigade. It's very scary. Can you even think of a single scarier thing than a flying fish brigade? No! You cannot! Ever! No! Flying fish brigades can kill you in an instant. Not even two instances. One sole instant is reserved for every human being that ever existed. No more, no less. Exactly one instant for everybody. You can't even fool the Mayans. Only one.
Your name could be Phillips and you wouldn't even have known it. Some people are born with Phillips, but others find out along the way that they are Phillips. If you speak Spanish and your name is Spain Man, your name could be Phillips. I don't know why I got so specific there because everyone has a chance at being Phillips. You just never know. If you're Spanish, there is a 29.84% chance you are Phillips. Conversely, if you're anyone else, there is a 29.84% chance of being Phillips. Overall there's probably a 29.84% chance that you are Phillips.
-Griffin
It's very hard to believe that every single culture that has ever existed has had some sort of flying fish brigade. It's very scary. Can you even think of a single scarier thing than a flying fish brigade? No! You cannot! Ever! No! Flying fish brigades can kill you in an instant. Not even two instances. One sole instant is reserved for every human being that ever existed. No more, no less. Exactly one instant for everybody. You can't even fool the Mayans. Only one.
Your name could be Phillips and you wouldn't even have known it. Some people are born with Phillips, but others find out along the way that they are Phillips. If you speak Spanish and your name is Spain Man, your name could be Phillips. I don't know why I got so specific there because everyone has a chance at being Phillips. You just never know. If you're Spanish, there is a 29.84% chance you are Phillips. Conversely, if you're anyone else, there is a 29.84% chance of being Phillips. Overall there's probably a 29.84% chance that you are Phillips.
-Griffin
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