Burdens and Turtles

Have you even ever eaten an apple? Was that alliteration OF COURSE IT WAS. Wow we're only two sentences into the post and there was already all-caps words. I do apologize. It's really not my fault anyway. I have absolutely no control over anything that is typed right here. You may think that because I use the word I in like a first-person perspective sort of thing that I would have an idea of what is being written. Quite the contrary, actually. These posts are really written in third-person, just about someone writing in first-person. Therefore I don't actually control what's being said.

It's very hard to believe that every single culture that has ever existed has had some sort of flying fish brigade. It's very scary. Can you even think of a single scarier thing than a flying fish brigade? No! You cannot! Ever! No! Flying fish brigades can kill you in an instant. Not even two instances. One sole instant is reserved for every human being that ever existed. No more, no less. Exactly one instant for everybody. You can't even fool the Mayans. Only one.

Your name could be Phillips and you wouldn't even have known it. Some people are born with Phillips, but others find out along the way that they are Phillips. If you speak Spanish and your name is Spain Man, your name could be Phillips. I don't know why I got so specific there because everyone has a chance at being Phillips. You just never know. If you're Spanish, there is a 29.84% chance you are Phillips. Conversely, if you're anyone else, there is a 29.84% chance of being Phillips. Overall there's probably a 29.84% chance that you are Phillips.

-Griffin