I posted a post yesterday but apparently blogspot was all like nah you don't need that post so the post didn't post so I'll try and rewrite it for next week's post stupid
-Griffin
Friday, May 30, 2014
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Gold Is Not Sometimes Colored Florecent Purple
Oh my hello how are you I don't care don't answer that was rhetorical look how cool this sentence is I bet you wish you were this cool maybe you should live in a boiling pot of gravy then you might feel better about yourself you silly little barbeque type of watermelon. I apologize for that sentence just now. I wrote sentice just there and it said that it was a word. What is sentice? I just Googled it and apparently it is, "a village and municipality in Brno-Country District in the South Moravian Region of the Czech Republic." That's good to know. I don't know what I would have done with my life not knowing that sentice is a municipal village in the Brno-Country District in the South Moravian Region of the Czech Republic. That was a really large concern for my at that moment in times when I had no idea what sentice was.
I propose a plan to help the United States economy. It's no ordinary plan either, it's a plan that would help the entire nobody. Anyway, my plan is, theoretically, we kidnap the Big Ben clock tower. Now hear me out here. We kidnap the Big Ben clock tower, and then demand London to send us four quadrillion dollars to ensure its safe return. Now you may be thinking, "WHY AM I READING THIS." But let me assure you, the next phase of this plan will greatly increase the value of the dollar. So, we take this four quadrillion ransom money given to us by the Brits, and we throw it directly into the Sun. Yes, that's right, the Sun. The glowing hot ball of florescent plasma that we all know and love. We throw the money into it. The dollar will then be worth a fortune, having four quadrillion of them destroyed. Gas prices would be like, negative fifteen cents. They'd be paying YOU to take the gas! It would be outstanding.
Moreover, I would like to conclude that I fully intend on advocating this idea to all governments across the world, assuming the United States is not up to the challenge of kidnapping Big Ben. It would really be an easy job when you think about it. I mean, what is it, like a hundred feet tall? That's easy to carry around without anyone noticing. Seriously, it's just a giant clock. No one would even think twice if they saw it being taken away by a large passenger jet. It's foolproof. And by foolproof I mean hire hitman grandmas.
-Griffin
--And now it's time for Abflats Teaches You English. This week on Abflats Teaches You English, we must write a paragraph about someone named Dot without using the letters i or j. Starting now. Hello. A story about Dot could be one that forever known when Saturday. Assumptions. Anyone who develops a tumor shouldn't even remember the Dot character's farmer name. Can you remember Dot's farmer name? Of course you can't. Completely not happen ago. Goodbye.
I propose a plan to help the United States economy. It's no ordinary plan either, it's a plan that would help the entire nobody. Anyway, my plan is, theoretically, we kidnap the Big Ben clock tower. Now hear me out here. We kidnap the Big Ben clock tower, and then demand London to send us four quadrillion dollars to ensure its safe return. Now you may be thinking, "WHY AM I READING THIS." But let me assure you, the next phase of this plan will greatly increase the value of the dollar. So, we take this four quadrillion ransom money given to us by the Brits, and we throw it directly into the Sun. Yes, that's right, the Sun. The glowing hot ball of florescent plasma that we all know and love. We throw the money into it. The dollar will then be worth a fortune, having four quadrillion of them destroyed. Gas prices would be like, negative fifteen cents. They'd be paying YOU to take the gas! It would be outstanding.
Moreover, I would like to conclude that I fully intend on advocating this idea to all governments across the world, assuming the United States is not up to the challenge of kidnapping Big Ben. It would really be an easy job when you think about it. I mean, what is it, like a hundred feet tall? That's easy to carry around without anyone noticing. Seriously, it's just a giant clock. No one would even think twice if they saw it being taken away by a large passenger jet. It's foolproof. And by foolproof I mean hire hitman grandmas.
-Griffin
--And now it's time for Abflats Teaches You English. This week on Abflats Teaches You English, we must write a paragraph about someone named Dot without using the letters i or j. Starting now. Hello. A story about Dot could be one that forever known when Saturday. Assumptions. Anyone who develops a tumor shouldn't even remember the Dot character's farmer name. Can you remember Dot's farmer name? Of course you can't. Completely not happen ago. Goodbye.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Pubble Ppace Pelescope
Hello, and welcome to this Thursday edition of Abflats, which only comes out on Thursdays and occasional Fridays. Today we are going to talk about types. Not just any types, types of things. Now, this may alarm some of you, and I don't mean to alarm you, it's not my intention to scare you, I don't mean to strike fear in you, this is not meant to cause you any reason to panic, but there are many different types of many different things out there on planet Earths. By the way, scientists have agreed to rename Earth to Earths. They let out a really in-depth press statement explaining, with facts, on why they renamed Earth to Earths, but their main reason is 'why not we're scientists'.
So next on our list of thing types, is Earths' seasons. There are many different seasons, as you know, that make our lives on Earths either really bad or moderately bad. Basically, the seasons are in Ghandi types. There are eleven types of Ghandi that the seasons could choose from every year. The way choosing works is that every January 13, Earths chooses the type of Ghandi that it would like to display two years following that January 13. No one knows why it is two years after the choose date, but that is how it is and we have to live with it. As far as we know, and we know very little of the Ghandi types as of now, but we believe that the eleven types of Ghandi are green type and five type. We think that the Ghandi seasons are made entirely of five green types, and six five types of Ghandi. That is what we believe to be true about the seasons of Earths.
Now it's time for a question to our very wise scientists that discovered the Ghandi types. If counting is as accurate as many people across the globe think it is, how on Earths could three not be four? I mean, it's a very pressing topic in today's culture that really needs answered. I wish we knew this question, because understanding this topic will open the door to many other secrets throughout the galaxy. Mostly if there are other types of Ghandi out there, but we will leave that to be discovered.
-Griffin
-- Now it's time for the newest addition to Abflats that we will now be doing every week until we are no longer doing it. It's called 'Abflats Teaches You English'. Today's Abflats Teaches You English is creating two sentences as scary as you possibly can. "Imagine that you were trapped in a room with environmentalists. Now imagine that you are the only one in the room wearing a weather suit completely made from sheep wool." GOODBYE
So next on our list of thing types, is Earths' seasons. There are many different seasons, as you know, that make our lives on Earths either really bad or moderately bad. Basically, the seasons are in Ghandi types. There are eleven types of Ghandi that the seasons could choose from every year. The way choosing works is that every January 13, Earths chooses the type of Ghandi that it would like to display two years following that January 13. No one knows why it is two years after the choose date, but that is how it is and we have to live with it. As far as we know, and we know very little of the Ghandi types as of now, but we believe that the eleven types of Ghandi are green type and five type. We think that the Ghandi seasons are made entirely of five green types, and six five types of Ghandi. That is what we believe to be true about the seasons of Earths.
Now it's time for a question to our very wise scientists that discovered the Ghandi types. If counting is as accurate as many people across the globe think it is, how on Earths could three not be four? I mean, it's a very pressing topic in today's culture that really needs answered. I wish we knew this question, because understanding this topic will open the door to many other secrets throughout the galaxy. Mostly if there are other types of Ghandi out there, but we will leave that to be discovered.
-Griffin
-- Now it's time for the newest addition to Abflats that we will now be doing every week until we are no longer doing it. It's called 'Abflats Teaches You English'. Today's Abflats Teaches You English is creating two sentences as scary as you possibly can. "Imagine that you were trapped in a room with environmentalists. Now imagine that you are the only one in the room wearing a weather suit completely made from sheep wool." GOODBYE
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Head Arches
Hello. It's that time of the week again. That time being the time where you read this sentence explaining what time of the week it is again. Hello. Do you suffer from chronic frustration disease? It's a disease that accidentally turns your skin purple because you fell into a bucket of purple paint. It's extremely uncommon, and, I'm afraid, it has no cure. I am sorry for your loss. You just can't rely on the stock market these days. Especially with chronic frustration disease. That doesn't mean that you can't remember the days that the stock market was available and that the frustration disease is curable. It just doesn't happen that often.
Do you remember the days when the second paragraph was the longest paragraph of the whole post? I don't because I hadn't thought of that statistic until I wrote that sentence right there recently. It's intriguing. Not really. But, cats are sometimes hard to deal with. Especially since they suffer from inventing the chronic frustration disease syndrome. It's very hard for them to cope. If you ride a cat like a horsey, you will probably be accused of animal cruelty.
If you were to chop down every tree on planet earth, you would have enough wood to cover the entire universe with nice, classy, wood floors that would make every alien jealous of earth's nice wood floors that are everywhere in the entire universe. That is a true fact. Every inch of space can be covered with earth's trees. 90% of those trees would come from Barry's backyard. Barry is a six year old from Vermont that has a swing set in his back yard. Don't let him fool you though, he's got like two willow trees back there too. So don't even consider trash compactors.
-Griffin
Do you remember the days when the second paragraph was the longest paragraph of the whole post? I don't because I hadn't thought of that statistic until I wrote that sentence right there recently. It's intriguing. Not really. But, cats are sometimes hard to deal with. Especially since they suffer from inventing the chronic frustration disease syndrome. It's very hard for them to cope. If you ride a cat like a horsey, you will probably be accused of animal cruelty.
If you were to chop down every tree on planet earth, you would have enough wood to cover the entire universe with nice, classy, wood floors that would make every alien jealous of earth's nice wood floors that are everywhere in the entire universe. That is a true fact. Every inch of space can be covered with earth's trees. 90% of those trees would come from Barry's backyard. Barry is a six year old from Vermont that has a swing set in his back yard. Don't let him fool you though, he's got like two willow trees back there too. So don't even consider trash compactors.
-Griffin
Friday, May 2, 2014
Barbars and Clips
I am sorry that I missed yesterday's post. It was completely my fault and it was also your fault. Wait no actually it was my fault only. Anyway, I am going to really make sure that I do not miss anymore posts. I will be cracking down on the post posts of posting and I hope that it will allow me to post more consistently. Consequently, we have let the trees win. How dare they? All I can say is that I hate them and so do you or you're a potato flavored mammal, the worst of its kind.
If there's anything I can do for you, please hesitate to ask, it's funny. I have no more to say in this post really besides the fact that I will, in fact, be posting every Thursday still. That has been a struggle for me for the past few posts but NO LONGER I SAY. I will make a really long post next Thursday to make up for the fact that dumb.
-Griffin
If there's anything I can do for you, please hesitate to ask, it's funny. I have no more to say in this post really besides the fact that I will, in fact, be posting every Thursday still. That has been a struggle for me for the past few posts but NO LONGER I SAY. I will make a really long post next Thursday to make up for the fact that dumb.
-Griffin
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