Ligaments

Hello once again and welcome back to don't get glad, get electrocuted. Registered trade mark. This time, we're talking about globes. And not just any globes, we're talking about globes with purple land masses on them. Not like the boring green and brown land masses that typical globes feature. No, no. These globes with the purple land masses are the actual, correct representation of Earth, the planet. It takes away what feeble imaginations children have these days and shows them the harsh reality of our planet. Purple land masses.

Correction: I seem to have made a mistake. It was my fault that I had forgotten that children don't exist. Silly me. The purple globes have nothing to do with children's imaginations, because there are none. If there were a single child in existence right now, do you think that any tree would still be around? No, of course not. Children are, obviously, herbivores. Trees are their natural prey. Allow me to express my reason using a two premise argument. Trees exist. Children eat trees. Therefore, children must not exist. It's as simple as that.

Now, if there's one thing that I know for sure, it's that one dollar today is work almost negative money tomorrow. If we really want inflation to stop doing the inflation dance, we need to destroy currency. To purchase something, you simply have to run an obstacle course featuring lions in small ponds, and sharks in dark dens. It's very treaturous, and you'll probably never get that smoked ham you wanted from Walmart. 

-Griffin