Thursday, November 10, 2016

Don't Torment Me

Hello and welcome back to another glorious day here at abfl okay I can't do this. I cannot sit idly by while this menace wreaks havoc on our very way of life. I am absolutely appalled that no one has been talking about this unfathomable evil that exists in our world. This injustice to humanity will go no further, as I have taken it upon myself to become the world's great whistle-blower about this travesty. That's right, I'm talking about buoys.

For far too long, buoys have been the bane of humankind's existence. First reason to hate buoys is their terrible "better than you" kind of attitude that is just stupid and entitles. Second reason to hate buoys is that they're real, and not a joke. Third reason to hate buoys is that they are responsible for every natural disaster that has ever happened in the history of the Earth. There are many more reasons to absolutely despise the plague to society that is buoys, but you get the picture.

We, as a people, as human beings, must do all we can to ensure our survival. There is not a single survival scenario for humanity where buoys survive with us. They must go. We can not put this off any longer. If you see a buoy and think it's some stupid, innocent flotation device, then you yourself might as well be a buoy. I have worked too long and hard to have it all taken away from me by a buoy.

-Griffin

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