Egg Egg Egg

Hello again and welcome to court. i'll see you in court. It's time for you to begin to stop beginning new things to eventually stop. It's out of control. You are out of control. You are a terrible snowman impersonator. If I even had sixty eight thousand reasons to say that you are a good snowman impersonator, I still wouldn't. I'm that committed to killing your dream as a snowman impersonator. You should just go melt somewhere like in a lawn or another lawn snowmen are typically made in lawns.

Theoretically, you could be a mustard colored sweater. Theoretically, that is. If you actually were a mustard colored sweater, you would have a terrible time keeping a job. Mostly because company leaders don't want to hire clothing. I can't imagine any CEO thinking that paying a sweater to do a job could possibly help their company make money. You shouldn't expect any different. You naive mustard colored sweater.

There are so many types of birds. Have you ever seen a bird, and then the same exact day seen another bird of a different type? Probably. That's because there are so many types of birds. Literally dozens. Maybe even more. If I had a dollar for every type of bird there was, I would have so many dollars. You could make an argument that I would have a lot of dollars, specifically the same number of dollars that there were type of birds. Quit eating, it'll help.

-Griffin 

Muzzle Loaded Forks

I cannot even begin to tell you how alarmingly Polish you're being right now. You are being unbelievably Polish. Stop that. Stop being Polish. Just stop. Don't do it. If you continue I will be forced to take action. Extreme action. Action that may be considered alarming to some people. Some people who aren't Polish, that is. The only thing you consider to be alarming when you're Polish is, of course, lawn care supplements. But then again, who wouldn't consider that alarming? No one that's who. No one wouldn't consider that to be alarming.

The theatrical release of everyone's favorite industrial sized fan was a travesty. The main reason everyone hated it is because the main character was a cricket. And far fewer people speak Italian in the target audience than what the production team predicted. It took them seventeen years, and it was an alarming box office flop. Production of the industrial size fan was estimated to have cost sixty one billion five hundred ninety eight million two hundred seventy one thousand nine hundred and ninety dollars. And they only made $0 opening weekend. Huge deficit.

Not long ago, there were three wasps. Now, today, there are probably like, millions if I had to guess. Why should I know how many wasps there are? I shouldn't. You just expect alarmingly too much from me. You should just dress up as a wasp forever and never not be dressed up as a wasp you wasp wasp creature. Do not, do NOT, don't.

-Griffin

Fold a Bottle of Syrup

It's time again to eat a toasted soda machine. That's right. A breaded soda machine, baked in the oven at 365 degrees for forty-five minutes. That's a toasted soda machine. Goes great with any sauce except for raw caffeine. Like the white powder form of it. Anyway, have you read about the new and improved alarmingly abundant insects the fly? They're new and improved. And by new and improved, of course we mean the exact same as they have always been and not improved in any way whatsoever.

You probably buy clothes at the soup store.

If you bought a Toyota, and was then disappointed in your life insurance plan, you may be entitled to nothing. You may be entitled to nothing. Why should you get anything? You should get your citizenship revoked from whatever country you come from for even suggesting that you're entitled to something. How dare you. You alarmingly flat tire.

I have a question for you. Go ahead and email me at <photo of dog>, and I will send you the question within 3 - 58 business days. I have a very busy schedule and may not be able to get my question sent within two months. Several people have already emailed me concerning their questions, so it may be thirty years before you're entitled to anything oh wait remember you're not entitled to anything but your alarmingly sour cream.

-Griffin

Don't The Always

Hello again and welcome to a very important, very asymmetrical bread pattern. If you're allergic to things, such as bread, then you might as well be a floor. No one cares about floors. You may get a rug put on you to make you look more appealing, but that's all. Speaking of floors, did you know that the first floor ever was designed by Edgar Lubius in his shoe shop in downtown New York City in 1851. It was a revolutionary invention that would spark architectural design for decades to come.

Three hours later, a domino was very annoyed at your choice of attire. Stop it. Stop. You have absolutely zero clue what you're doing. You couldn't even pretend that a hat was a hat. No, you had to go and ruin it by eating seven thousand frozen peaches. It will probably kill you. You'll die from over peach eating. You can't even speak Danish (Deutsch). 

There can only be five million types of lettuce. No more. If there were five million thirty three thousand seventy, that's too many. If you had any more than five million types of lettuce, you would be placed on a 'Very Bad Go Away' list that the United Department of National Agricultural Persuasion. Or UDNAP for short. Please don't eat plastic please.

-Griffin