Souper Man

Welcome to everyone's favorite time of the year. That's right, it's bread time. The time of the bread. It's the point in the indefinite continued progress of existence which solely concerns that of the food made of flour, water, and yeast mixed together and then baked. You cannot begin to comprehend how light-headed that makes people feel. In fact, some suffer loss of brains. Their entire brain just disappears. We don't know why; we're not scientists, we're bread. 

For the fourth time Nancy, you can't dress up as the Weimar Republic. It's just not natural. You'll start off being worth like a quarter of a US dollar. But then in only nine years you'll be worth like one four-trillionth of a US dollar. It's a lose-lose situation, Nancy. Just stop now while you're ahead. Ahead of the elk. You don't want to get behind the elk. They'll kick their back legs if you scare them.

Nice to see that almost none of the air molecules in my immediate vicinity are colored bright pink. That's always a welcome sight. If you ever see bright pink air molecules, leave that place as soon as possible. You don't want to know what happens when bright pink air molecules exist. I could tell you, but the Earth explodes. That's what happens. Bright pink air molecules mean Earth exploding happens.

Eating chocolate is not only a national past-time, it's also a sport. Much like the trombone, one cannot go wrong while eating chocolate. If you had sixty pounds of chocolate for every pound of food that wasn't chocolate, you'd be a much happier human. There is no reason to have any other edible substance ever when chocolate exists. If you disagree with that, you're probably definitely someone who supports the Wind Erosion Legislature.

-Griffin