It's fairly easy to understand the concept of nationalism. But couple that with incredibly large tortillas, then that's another thing entirely. If you even knew the half of what any of that meant, you would probably dissolve all alliances with your country's government, and move to the geographic center of Greenland. You'll be safe there, don't worry. The only danger there is the fact that feral Santa elves sometimes venture that far south. It's a fairly rare occurrence, however.
Did you know that if I said six plus nine was nine thousand three hundred seventy one you would not believe me? It's true. Even though that it's my opinion that that statement is factual, you would take it upon yourself to sue me in a court of law for saying that. How could you do this? Suing someone because his opinion differs from your own? What are you a lettuce? Either way, there are only four ways you could be a lettuce and all of them are not.
Welcome to the National Regional Semi-Annual Nose Hair Trimming Fever Competition of America. Soon to be known as Harold's Contest. If you win the competition, you win six years in prison. Second place gets custody of a random child. Third gets one gallon of spoiled milk. Fourth and fifth both get five days probation in a random county in Michigan. There is no time to waste, please waste.
-Griffin
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