Trombone For President

Good morning. It's come time again to tell you about my new idea for a commercial. In fact, I have two commercial ideas. The first one is for real estate. My idea is that there's just an old man, looking directly into the camera, screaming "EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY" for like fifty seconds. But before the very last time he says it, it jump cuts to a very close up shot of his mouth where he whispers "equity". That will get the economy moving in the positive direction. The next commercial I have is for bald people. Basically, it's just Howie Mandel standing there while the camera slowly zooms in on his bald head. He's not looking into the camera. He's just standing perfectly still while looking off to the side with a slightly concerned look on his face. We'll sell millions.

Now, of course these commercials will have to be funded somehow. Don't worry, I have a plan that will take care of that. First, we steal as many ducks as we can find. We scour lakes, duck shops, rivers, other places where ducks might be, and obtain as many as we can possibly find. Then, once we have all the ducks in the world, we sell them to the highest bidder. There are at least ten billionaires that I can think of that are avid duck collectors. Each one of them is willing to pay top dollar for any and all ducks they can get their hands on. Mallards, Pekins, Calls, you name it.

I have nothing else to talk about in this post, so allow me to just give you a preview of my real estate commercial: "EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY EQUITY equity"

-Griffin