Grilled Chair Not Cheese

It was a sorrowful time when the Ottoman Empire collapsed. You can just imagine how many bald people ran through the streets of the world screaming, "THE OTTOMANS WILL RISE AGAIN." In fact, they do that now more than ever. The ratio of the population of people that are bald and run around screaming, "THE OTTOMANS WILL RISE AGAIN," to the general population of the world has steadily risen since 1972. Now it's up to somewhere around 28% of the population. Only 72% of the population of the planet are not bald and/or running around the streets screaming, "THE OTTOMANS WILL RISE AGAIN."

What were they thinking when they invented density? Density is the most complex and convoluted measurements that only triple Ph.Ds in Quantum Physics and Particle Theory would understand. It is the most complicated thing in the universe. Density makes every grass blade in the world look like a quadrilateral. There is nothing simple about how dense a specific substance can be.

Being on fire is not desirable. It is, in fact, much less desirable than not being on fire. There are only certain states of on fire a human can be, and half of those states are way less desirable than the other half. And I'm not talking about Wyoming, I'm talking about being on fire. Wyoming is much more desirable than being on fire. That calculation is mostly affected by the fact that one of those states has Yellowstone National Park in it. And Yellowstone National Park is desirable.

-Griffin