Hello and welcome to this week's wooden totem pole. Excuse me, but I always get the two mixed up. This is an Abflats post, not a wooden totem pole. If I had three hundred million dollars for every time I got those two things confused, I would probably have a lot more money than the average human. Even the average cat, too. Not many of them have over three hundred million dollars. Come to think of it, I'm not sure if it's legal for a cat's name to be on a bank account. How are all these cats keeping their money?
What if tornadoes were made of some sort of candy? Maybe cotton candy, or jolly-ranchers, or silly putty, or maybe even gum. That would make tornadoes much more cheerful. Currently, tornadoes are not very cheerful at all. Really, if you saw a giant funnel of pink cotton candy coming towards you at various miles per hour, you would not be inclined to cry. Even if it was going various kilometers per hour. But really, why would it do that?
What if, at the Geneva convention, they made a law that countries needed to have actual, physical lines on their borders. Then, every country would need to go around and paint huge black lines on their borders. It would be extremely inconvenient. And the Swiss people would have to establish a special committee of people who go around and make sure the black lines are painted in the correct place. They would, too, probably have to check to make sure the paint is the correct viscosity and color. It would be millions upon millions of dollars basically eviscerated.
I almost forgot to include this last, fourth paragraph, as it is a fairly new addition to Abflats recently. How could you have done that. Why do I use words that are typically meant for questiony sentences but then end it with a period. It doesn't make sense? Also, with my use of punctuation, you failed to notice the dolphins. There are thousands of them. Everyday, they swim. Absolutely horrifying.
-Griffin
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