Doctor Progladosh

Welcome to this week's new and improved Abflats post. What makes this post new and improved, you ask? You bet! Alright, now we have many things to talk about during this post so I will stop wasting your time with these first few sentences. They really haven't served an adequate point to the post yet besides being a segway into what we are really going to talk about during the majority of this post. Also, according to this, segway is not a word which is a poor life choice considering it's a synonym for transition and also it is a thing with two wheels that moves based on weight distribution.

Alright, now that you have made it to the second paragraph, there are some steps you should take to make sure you have a safe trip throughout this Abflats post. First of all, tie all of your belongings down with bungee cables or polyurethane adhesive. Once that is complete, you will no longer be in danger of having your belongings not be tied down. The next step in preparedness is to find a job at your local pizza delivery place. This step is crucial to the next step. The third step is that you need to eliminate the Illuminati. Once the Illuminati is eliminated, you have done a good job.

Now we're getting to the real section of the post. This section is notorious for including various plant and insect life. Specifically, if you were to plant a tree, it may be in danger of dying. Allow me to elaborate. Scientists have estimated that there is a .00000000000000129838% of the sun exploding at any given time. Therefore, any tree you plant has the possibility of dying from sun explosion. You should always consider these facts when planting plants.

You have successfully arrived at paragraph four! I would congratulate you, but that is not an accomplishment. Also, I can safely assume you don't know how long it would take Mount Rushmore to completely erode into an unrecognizable state. Well, I'm here to give you that answer right now. It's roughly 7.2 million years. So, get your photos while there is still time.

-Griffin