Burned Hats

Could you imagine the best time to get a souffle? Maybe. Really, anytime just seems incredibly inconvenient to get one. Out of all the things that can be cooked for consumption, souffles just seem like the most annoying to deal with. Sure, bison probably aren't easy to get from roaming in the wild to on your dinner plate, but I'd much rather go out with a giant gun than put a souffle in the oven. Might as well go on vacation while you're at it, too. No rhyme or reason to justify making a souffle.

What if you were watching a typical scary movie where the setting is your typical demented rural house that was built in like the 1940s and is haunted by some typical satanic cult that was murdered here by themselves because typically satanic cults do that. There typically would be a scene with a lady, who has been quite frightened for the entire movie, because of course she just bought this perfect family fix-er-upper home out in the country, yet she has no idea what is happening because she just thinks all the screaming and footsteps in the attic are pipes rumbling, walking down a dark hallway with a very small candle, because any light sources that make sense don't exist in these kind of movies. The camera would probably be pointed at her face with complete pitch blackness behind her as she walks really slowly with the candle light. Then she stops and the music stops and then the camera quickly switches to what's in front of her and it's a Boeing 777 jumbo jet. Her house was haunted by a 1995 era commercial airliner this entire time, and not the family that murdered 20 people in the house that her kids had done research on at the local library with that news paper turner computer thing that only exists in the movies. The perfect movie.

In reality, Boeing 777's can really only sit about 138 people. It's not a great plane when you consider cars. Cars are much easier to drive than planes. I mean, sure planes are millions of dollars to own most of the time, but I guarantee you that more people would own one if they just replaced the cockpit instruments with a steering wheel and a tachometer. The airline industry would really boom then. That's how to fix the economy.

-Griffin