Hello. No, don't even being. That's right. You are no longer allowed to be. Being, specifically. Hahaha. That laughter was inappropriate, I apologize. You no longer being is a very difficult matter that must be addressed within the next forty-eight and a half hours. That's right. You have until 6:30 PM on Saturday to figure out why you are no longer allowed to be. 6:30 because I'm posting this post at exactly 6:00 and it all works out great. Time is a fascinating thing that we really need to stop. It's very tragic.
Is tragic spelled like tragic because magic is spelled like magic? Yes. Is .gif pronounced jif because it's spelled like tragic and magic. Yes. All you giffies are failures and should stop it. Some of you may bring up the concept of gift. And again, you need to stop. It is not Christmas, and giving us, the people who pronounce gif correctly, gifts will not persuade us to join your side. We are bigger than that. Unless the gift was like pizza or something but it probably won't be.
People who say, "Yeah?" after a sentence where they are talking to themselves really need to stop as well. I mean come on. You are not a gopher. Gophers can't speak. So why would you be adding "Yeah?" to the end of your rhetorical sentences? It's really not necessary. You need to really get a hold of yourself. On the phone that is. You are busy and you need to let yourself know. Before time runs out. Like the time from a cheap plastic sand hourglass thing that comes with those board games. It's great.
-Griffin
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