Are You in Prison

Have you ever noticed how infections are like abundant in places that have an excess amount of kangaroo and tortoise populations? It's really strange. It may just be a coincidence, but I feel that if we simply moved all of the kangaroos and tortoises to some secret location where Russia couldn't find them, we could lower the amount of infection rates. It's really a lot simpler than people, mainly philanthropists, think. We don't need to spend eighty billion dollars researching diseases and stuff. That's a lot of money. We could easily just move all of the kangaroos and tortoises somewhere secret for like twenty thousand dollars or something. I mean come on.

What if you could choose your own natural disasters? What if at the beginning of a town's existence, the town council could hold a vote to pick it's own custom natural disaster that would happen there? If I were on the council, I would seriously delegate my focus to getting the natural disaster of giant bean burrito voted as our town's natural disaster. I sincerely believe that the benefits to a giant bean burrito destroying your town outweigh the drawbacks by a landslide. The first benefit is that you'll make national news, guaranteed. Maybe even international. You'll be the first town ever to get destroyed by a giant bean burrito, and people will want to see that. Second, when the giant bean burrito is prowling around town, he'll surely leave giant beans in his wake that you can eat for free. Beans are really good, but paying for them is not. This way you can get them for free, and they'll be giant so you'll have plenty of leftovers. Thirdly, it will smell really good for a long time. Mexican food always smells good, but think about how good giant Mexican food will be. The smell will engulf the entire region. Those are the main benefits to a giant bean burrito attacking your town. The only drawbacks that I can see is that it would be unkillable, and that your town would be destroyed. So, as you can see, the benefits destroy the drawbacks. Vote giant bean burrito as your town's natural disaster.

I don't really have much more to say. I just wanted to let you know about the pressing factors in today's political controversies. It is really important that you pay attention to stuff like that. If you don't, you could have a giant bean burrito blow up your house with no advanced warning. No one wants that to happen. You won't have time to pack all of your things into anti giant bean and sour cream bins. How would you survive? You probably wouldn't. So, that's all I had to say for today. I hope you're having a fun weekend even though it's Thursday like always. Goodbye. Haha I'm not actually ending this post with an endy word. That's absurd. HAHAHAEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry

-Griffin