Mittens Like the Cat

My internet has started acting proportionally poopy again. It started about two hours ago. I have no idea why it just wants to do that sometimes. Like, the majority of the time, it is awesome and fantastic and good. But then sometimes, it just is like gravel flavored with artificial guacamole flavoring which is disgusting why would anyone do that. Either way, it's really bad right now for some reason. I have no idea WHEN is not the correct W word I was looking for call an ambulance.

I'm going to keep copying this post in order to be somewhat secure if my internet stages a local apocalypse. That happens a lot on earth. You could be eating at a McDonalds and all of a sudden there's lava. It would be really apocalyptic, but only at that McDonalds in particular. Is McDonald's first name Old? Or Barry? Barry McDonald is kind of boring. I don't know if that's what they were going for when they named the Flurry. That is a joke no one on this earth will understand including me. Happy birthday.

I had planned to talk about how this was going to be the greatest post in the history of time, but then my internet went Buick. So I talkinged about that instead. How are you. Shut up. Do you smell that it smells like loan sharks. I can't recall a time when I called someone and said hold on I need to recall you this call in unsatisfactory for me. I really wish that unions didn't have to eat your lunch. You leave it in the fridge with your name on it, keypad lock and everything, but they still use they're slimy crowbars to pry open your safety deposit box and get your sandwich. We should sue them. I mean Susan. Not sue. Window parties.

-Griffin 

PS THE FREAKING INTERNET IS SO BAD I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WILL PUBLISH HELP ME I'M ALL OUT OF SPARE LIMBS