Cabbage

I cannot believe in the slightest of time that the does cannot even go to the fourth Florida across the bacon demands it. I know for most of my posts that I address the reader in a certain way. Maybe hello, or hi, or why would you be so treeist. It varies but I do it quite often. However, for no apparent reason, I am not going to do that in this post. I will most likely do it next week, but this week I shall not speak to any reader. I will pretend that this 'create a post' page is the only one in the room with me. I mean, you're never here anyway, and like it makes no difference to me how pork. Oh no I just addressed the reader. Goodbye I suppose. I'm sorry. I'm not very good at starting or ending conversations. Like, I'll say goodbye after someone asks what day it is. Then I will order a pizza and catch a flight to the Ukraine because I like to party. And no Ukrainian party is a Ukrainian party without Ukrainian waffle batter. It's a type of salad dressing.

Do you know the mustard man? He sucks. And by that I mean, he's the CEO of a vacuum cleaner company. He runs a company that designs and sells vacuum cleaners. He's like that Dyson guy, only instead of an accent that makes him sound smart, he doesn't shower. You could say that the mustard man sucks and stinks. Or you could say that he owes you twelve-thousand dollars. Though only one of those things is likely to be correct. He and the gravity goblin created the internet security software that destroys your home network. "We didn't do it on the purpose," said the mustard man in what reports indicate could very well be the most utterly ignorant sentence ever spoken by human kind. 

Crickets don't worry about taxes or politics. That is all I have to say on that matter. However, if four different people ate the same cricket at the same time, then the world would not implode. Nothing would probably happen. Oh how the time tables have turned..into.....tables.........of time SHUT UP. I didn't make you queen of Norway. Mostly because Norway doesn't have any monarchy that I am aware of. But also because I would have absolutely no power in Norway's monarchy should Norway have one. I am not from Norway, and I never have been.

Did you know that once a year the supercar of the sea emerges from the ocean depths to lay its eggs? I did. So I told you. Just now. It's a mysterious phenomenon that only occurs on the fifth full moon of the year. It can be said that it likes horse radish. But then again, lots of things can be said about anything. Like, I could say that school only exists during dumpster season. But that isn't true, nor does it make any sense. I could also say flaps. But I won't.

This is going to be the last paragraph of this post in the history of this post. And I refuse to mention cabbage. But the only way I'll be able to not mention cabbage, is if I tell you the story about the time Florida turned into Texas. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you this story because it never happened, and I refuse to tell lies. Like that time I went to Oregon to meet that professional yodeler. That was completely the truth. Cabbage is almost cab age. And that could mean an outdated taxi.

-Griffin