Loafs of Meat

I once met a man who lived in a large concrete cactus. He told me about the wonders of gravity. If I remember correctly, he wanted me to know about the edibility of gravity. He said that it takes a special set of skills not obtainable by normal means mainly meatloaf. I had no idea what this meant at the time, and still don’t. Seeing as though you can’t see or touch gravity, it would be difficult to eat it. Which, I suppose, is why it takes a special set of skills not obtainable by normal means mainly meatloaf.

If there is a war anytime soon, I vote that we move to the Ukraine. No one cares about the Ukraine enough to attack it, and they have parties. They have so many parties, in fact, that their power plants sometimes party too hard and explode. This happened once in 1986. The entire city had to be evacuated because of the mass amounts of party put out by their nuclear power plant. It doesn’t even have to be power plants in the Ukraine. Like, plant plants party hard there too. There are some bushes in a small city in the Ukraine that have taken over, and pronounced their dominance over the humans that live there. The Ukraine claims to not know the existence of such a city, and they leave off this city on their maps. They can’t fool us however. We know about the Ukraine’s parties. 

It would be very awkward if trees could get pregnant. Like, you wouldn't know if it was pregnant because you wouldn't expect it to be, and you'd ask, and like it would get mad because you called it fat. You jerk. Why would you do that? Charcoal could be the madness of the crime. It's not its fault. It's its itting itsy its. I have no idea what you're talking about. How dare you. How. Just tell me. How. How. How. Or? Brands. 

Would you like to explain to me that you are a tree-insulting banana face? Because I'd really like to know why. If you have any time on your hands to be insulting trees' weight, then you should be able to tell me why you have time to insult trees' weight. I can't believe it. I didn't know the formula. Fifty.

-Griffin