Impropical Plural Usages

I just realized how many words have different plural usages other than just adding an ‘s’ at the end. Realizing this inspired me to make a list of words with the plural usage done wrong. Like a hit list, only instead of people’s names that you want to kill, it’s words that do not have the correct plural form on the end of them. One thing though, before we go onto the list. I didn’t care too much for the taste of chicken, so I invented chicken nuggets. I know, I know. They taste the same. It wasn’t too good of an idea really. Now, onto the list I have compiled: 

Firstly: Tooths

Secondish: Foots

Tertiary: Oxes

Quartic: Fishes

Fifthic: Gooses 

Sixth: Cactuses 

Seeveenth: Deers 

Octagonal: Teeths 

9er: Feets 

J: Boxen 

 That’s all I’ve thought of for now. I’m not really sure how to proceed. I could think of some more, or take out a bank loan, or order some insurance off of Ebay. The possibilities are endless. Unless, you know, they aren’t. In which case they aren’t, I have a plan to overthrow the Australian government. I shall use a large 632 ton crane, and a bucket of bacon. Uncooked bacon. You can never escape me. All I must do now is code in my Graphical User Interface, and I’ll be set to go. 

If you’re reading this, I would like to mention something. You do not have any idea how many legs I have, and you never will. So stop asking. If you’re not reading this, then disregard the previous statement. If you are here reading this right now, disregard the statement in which I told you to disregard the statement after I talked about the number of legs I have. Because I won’t tell you. Ever. You’ll forever not know how many legs I have. Even if I told you, you still wouldn't know. Your mind cannot even comprehend the complexity of how many legs I possess. Please do not treat my lawn bad.

-Griffin