COLD

I'M SO SORRY THIS WEEK WAS JUST RIDICULOUSLY BUSY LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HOW BUSY THE GOVERNOR OF NEW HAMPSHIRE IS PRETTY BUSY I BET WELL I WAS BUSIER THAN HE WAS AND HE'S A GOVERNOR OF A STATE SPECIFICALLY NEW HAMPSHIRE OKAY NEXT WEEK WILL BE A POST SO LONG THAT YOU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO READ LATIN EVER AGAIN.

-GRIFFIN

Souper Man

There are three things in this Earth that are not Earth itself. Mars. The Moon. And, of course, the Sun. All of those are not our planet, the world. Have you ever known something other than the Earth that is the Earth? Of course not. You're not real. You can't know things. Even if you drank like six gallons of NyQuil, you could not know anything. In fact, you would probably just be dead.

You know, I meant what I said when I said that the Earth is the Earth. There is no disputing that absolute fact. It is absolutely absolute that the Earth is the Earth. Speaking of NyQuil, they should make jellybeans that taste like NyQuil. Not for the sleepy benefits, but just for the taste. They would probably sell dozens. It's not that likely that anyone would buy them, I know I definitely would.

This will probably be the second to last paragraph in today's post because of the other two posts I missed over the last two weeks. I'm just telling you so it won't come as a surprise to you when there is more words to follow this paragraph of words. Words make up paragraphs, you see. What if you ran so fast that all the molecules in the world turned to solid rubber, like the kind of rubber used in car tires? I know that I would use that power for evil, not for good. For what good could come of turning everything to rubber and nothing else?

Please question the ethics of salmon. They are the worst people, morally speaking. They think it's okay to step on someone's foot and not apologize. They're thinking should be illegal. Horrible creatures, them salmon. Some people don't even know that they are professional accountants. But I do. That story is for another day, however. And by another day I mean never. The salmon accountant story will never be shared.

-Griffin

BREAD

I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'LL GET CAUGHT UP NEXT WEEK I PROMISE OR YOU CAN CALL ME TREE TREE THE EXTREME

-GRIFFIN

Wind Erosion

I WAS TOO BUSY TO POST YESTERDAY I AM SORRY PLEASE ACCEPT MY AM SORRY BECAUSE I AM SORRY I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU I WILL SEND A MAIL FULL OF CHALK

-GRIFFIN

Humbertio

Welcome again, dear deer. It's that time of week again where words are written down onto a soup and then read via eye reading powers. This is a very profitable venture. So profitable, in fact, that I'm breaking even at zero dollars worth of expenses and zero dollars worth of revenue. It's the best situation anyone could ever be in in the history of the world. Not even Otto von Bismarck, the first Chancellor of Germany and Minister President of Prussia, had it better.

This week included National Put Something In Your Mouth Day. Thousands around the world celebrated by putting things in their mouths, even though it was only a national holiday. People put things such as lima beans, brass, zip-ties, and even radio equipment in their mouths. What a glorious occasion. There was even a bread. Can't get any better than that. Say, have you noticed that you could be a stump? That's right, you could be a dead base of a tree. Lucky you!

Nearing the end of plutonium now. From this point on, there's no turing back. You'll have endless amounts of cereal where you're going. And that's North Carolina. So much cereal there.
At least eleven possibly more. If you could even come close to owning eleven of anything, let alone cereals, you would be a very average individual probably. Next to five, is four, and next to none, is a televison. Quaille.

-Griffin

Abflats Three Year Anniversary Extreme Extravaganza Post +1

Hello and welcome. You may have noticed, assuming you have eyes, and that you are a living being, today's post is the Abflats Three Year Anniversary Extreme Extravaganza Post +1. Why is it +1 you ask? Because if you subtract one from this post you get the post from last week. The post from last week was the actual Abflats Three Year Anniversary Extreme Extravaganza Post. I thought I would go ahead and say it for a second time here, even though it is thoroughly explained in last week's post. If you read last week's post word for word, which you should have, you will have learned a great many things. Some of those things include, but are not limited to:

- Last week's post was Abflats' Three Year Anniversary Extreme Extravaganza Post

Now, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. The secret is as follows, you must keep reading to learn of the secret. That was the secret. Now, if you read only the first letter of each line of last week's post, which happened to be Abflats' Three Year Anniversary Extreme Extravaganza Post, you will read a secret message. The message was cleverly disguised as the first letter of each line, and you were none the wiser. The wiser being someone who is on fire but is also not flammable. You weren't that someone.

It's really important that you read this paragraph. What I am about to tell you, within this paragraph, will determine matters of great importance. Those matters include, but are not limited to:

- Last week's post was Abflats' Three Year Anniversary Extreme Extravaganza Post

Once you have learned of these matter of great importance, you will commence the reading of this final paragraph. What you will learn from this final paragraph is, again, a matter of great importance. Only this time, the matters of great importance cannot be described by humans. It can only be described by the most learned of all llamas. And we all know the smartest llamas come from the Smart Llama Organization of Llama Land. Within this exclusive covenant of llamas lies the one Super Llama who can describe the matters of great importance to which this paragraph will teach you. Go to this llama. Learn the matters of great importance. View Tom Hanks.

-Griffin

Guam

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-Guam