Seven Percent Topaz

Hello once again and welcome to I'm your host, Tucson, Arizona. I can remember it as if it was just yesterday, when the land underneath Tucson, Arizona was formed. You see, all that dirt came in to being when a great big shark decided to put a bunch of dirt in Arizona. Tucson used to be a sea, you know. The sharks made the city happen. It's almost criminal how society doesn't recognize the original, city-planning sharks of Tucson. They were hammerheads probably.

Okay here's the deal. No one cares if you think underlined words are cool. They're not. Stop asking me to underline things. You should be underlined. See how you like it. Probably wouldn't think it was too funny, if I had to guess. In fact, you'd probably cry. I simply refuse to bend to the will of the Pro-Underliners. They cannot, and will not, force me to underline a single word ever and you can take that to every bank in existence.

For people who don't understand Chinese, there's a really simple tool to give you the edge against your friends. It's called the pencil. The pencil is a small tool, usually between five and eight inches long, about a quarter-inch in diameter, and usually made of wood. What's so special about this small wooden rod, you ask? Well the pencil is unique in that it has this graphite filling on the insides that allow it to mark things, such as paper. No more pens for you, as the pencil almost always has a small rubber disk glued to the end which, when rubbed, removes the graphite right off the face of the paper. Magic!

-Griffin

C'mon Poland

Is there anyone here who can even read? Like, almost no people can read. It boggles my mind. If you can read, please tell me. I need to know who can read. I need to know. You might as well be a chimney, loser. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I mean, I did, but I also didn't. Burnt plastic is really the way to go, for like, all the situations. I mean really. Forget the toxicity of burning plastic, think of the children. Please.

Forcible tornado cream, am i right?? hah. No. No I'm not. Never speak to me again. You speak to me again, and I will call you a chimney like twelve more times. I'm serious. You chimney. That's one. Eleven more times are coming. Don't even come near me with that chimney face you chimney. UGH.

Forget the snowmans, shoot the goats with boat cannons. That is, cannons that fire goat projectiles. Very popular in.....absolutely no where. Who would ever use those for any purpose whatsoever? No one. That's who. Goats are a horrible projectile. They probably can't even pierce like six inches of armor. Useless. Can't even use them for assassinations.

-Griffin

How To Read Braille

Welcome back to everyone's favorite braille simulator. Unlike the last post where we talked about braille, this post is actually going to teach you to read braille. It will do this by exposure. The remainder of this post will be in braille. ⠶⡉⠴⠥⠀⠩⠣⠷⡆⡠⠴⡌⠀⡃⡓⠶⡇⠵⠽⠭⡇⠪⠀⡌⡞⠫⠮⡑⡂⡔⠊⠀
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FORKS

FIRST POST OF 2017 IS A MISSED POST I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I HAVE BEEN TERRIBLE RECENTLY KEEP IN MIND THAT I HAVE BEEN TERRIBLE RECENTLY I WILL MAKE UP FOR IT I PROMISE HERE HAVE MY FAVORITE PASTRY AS COMPENSATION FOR MY TERRIBLE RECENTLY

-GRIFFIN