Seven Orange Union Protesters

Welcome. Of course it's time to announce for candidacy for President of the United States Fifty Pounds of Raw Salmon. Fifty Pounds of Raw Salmon would like the American people to know that it does not take kindly to seafood being eaten anywhere ever. They promise, should they be elected president, to imprison every human that exists and if you're only partly human you still get imprisoned. If you think you can hide from the Raw Salmon Administration, you're wrong, because Fifty Pounds of Raw Salmon would like to officially announce its new infrared human-detector vision which allows them to see all humans that exist ever the whole time. You will be imprisoned if you are human and Fifty Pounds of Raw Salmon is elected. 

That paragraph was sponsored by Fifty Pounds of Raw Salmon they paid me to say all that. Even if you're old, maybe like three thirty noon, you still get paid to do things that's called capitalism. Invest in your expensive tree things this fall before time runs out and what we mean by time running out is that the sun is set to explode by this winter so invest while you can. Once the sun explodes this winter, you really will want to have all you expensive tree things in line because it will be kind of chilly, because it's winter, and then really warm, because the sun exploding.

You're going to want to wear your long socks because it's going to get condiment in here. Get ready. There aren't enough months in the year to justify purchasing a tornado simulation device because why the crap would you purchase this it's May. I forgot to mention Fifty Pounds of Raw Salmon's campaign slogan it's 'Feel the Fifty Pounds of Raw Salmon'.

-Griffin