IT'S TIME ONCE AGAIN FOR ANOTHER YEAR ANNIVERSARY POST OF EXTRAVAGANZA BEAUTIFUL WE HAVEN'T DONE ONE OF THESE IN LIKE A YEAR AHAHAHAH. As you may know, Abflats' real anniversary is on February 14. I like to call this day Abflats Birthday Day. It's clearly the most important, and only, holiday that occurs on this day. I do have to apologize, as well, that this post is not occurring on February 14. Since it is physically and psychologically illegal for Abflats posts to occur on days other than Thursday, the Year Anniversary Post of Extravaganza Beautiful must occur on this Thursday now which is two days before. Last year it was only one day before. Now it's two. I'm so sorry. Don't worry, however, in 2019 the Year Anniversary Post of Extravaganza Beautiful can occur on February 14 so mark your cake calendar readers.
Did you know that it has never occurred to some people that chimneys have feelings too? I mean, that's like saying, "we're open 24/7 Monday through Friday." We need to stop oppressing them. They even picketed sometime in 2013 so they could get the right to vote. No one knows exactly when they started though. But on Thanksgiving morning the people of a town in northern Idaho woke up to like fifty brick chimneys just standing upright in their town park. No movement whatsoever. Just square, brick spires as far as the eye could see. They also found small, square picket signs with "chimneys are people too" written in red paint. No news actually reported it because of the horrifying images that would have been shown to people.
What if salt ruled the world? Like, the leader of every country was just a pile of salt. This could be portrayed in action movies about the Cold War too. "Sir! We need to set up international sanctions against the Russians!" then the camera quickly pans to a spilled salt shaker on top of the oval office desk. The president would be the only salt character in the movie too, since the movie would be trying to emulate real world situations. It would be the greatest action movie ever too. M. Night. Shmaeolaye901eon could direct it. Then at the end you find out that the salt has actually been calcium nitrate instead. It would be the most extreme extreme twist extreme in all movie kind.
Have you ever considered the type of letters in the Finnish alphabet? I mean, they're probably the same letters as ours. I have literally no experience at all with the Finnish language. They probably use shapes to speak. When you want a glass of water you somehow speak a square. It would get confused with asking for a crude oil drink as well because to get one of those you have to speak rectangle. It could be unbelievable if you use some shape that's unbelievable like one with sixteen dimensions.
In closing, I would like to thank all those trees out there for their continued support. I mean as like beams and house frames and stuff. They're really handy. Without wood our houses would be mostly nothing and we would be living in an empty plot with all our stuff. We'd still have plumbing though so that's okay I guess. On the other hand, trees are responsible for the mass murder of the world's elephants. How could you, trees? And to think we trusted you. That's it trees I no longer wish to thank you. You suck, trees.
-Griffin
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