You really need to quit it on the bean dip. The prospect of bean dip has been adequately exhausted and should no longer be mentioned. Stop talking about bean dip. Nothing you could say about bean dip will further my liking for bean dip. It is as already as high as it can be. Really. There is absolutely no need whatsoever to continue saying words regarding the dipped bean. It's incredibly annoying to have your continued, vocal support for a dip in which is made of various bean types. Mostly beef though.
Just don't forget to understand why you are the way of the wind. You can't. Only. It's as extremely sorry that the one should become for which is the today in Sunday please stop it. Burgundy is a pretty cool color, though. Like, purpley-red. That's pretty sweet. Even if it's purpley-red. It couldn't be better. Really. You should have quit while you were ahead about talking with the bean dip. If you threw the bean dip through the air, and then someone caught it, would it be unintentional grounding? Maybe. Whose insurance would you like to purchase today? Tom's? Tom has a good plan it's millions a month.
The way of this post has been extreme in the context of having context. This week was a week of where the post this week would have extreme precedents. No trial and error necessary, just error. I can't even fathom what I am trying to say at all times. Really though, the people who are dressed up as clowns aren't really that scary. It's the real-life, clown creatures that you should be afraid of. Don't belt.
-Griffin
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Blob Time Forever
How could you have known how little you could have known? That doesn't even make. Yes. Even if you were born in Wisconson, it won't help you now. The help you could have gotten with the fact that you were born in Wisconson is no longer available for getting. Not forgetting, getting. It's very simple; just be careful. Could it be the last time since Tuesday that a day starting with T appears on the weekly calendar? Probably not. Unless the sun explodes sometime between now and next Tuesday. There is a large probability that there will be a Tuesday next Tuesday. Give or take thirty.
Have you ever wondered how much better a nature television show would be if it was about ovens? Like, I mean ovens sliding through the desert in Africa. The ovens could be big, white colored, and extremely heavy, so they slide very slowly. Some Australian guy could be hiding behind a bush observing the oven on the television show and he would be "here we see the Sears Model 85A-CF8 approaching a stream as it performs its daily watering ritual." Then the oven would burst into flames with a grease fire, and it would start sliding through the desert in zig-zag motions with a slightly quicker speed than before.
Why are trees so discriminatory according to the Book of Racist Things? According to the Book of Racist Things, trees rank fourth. The only things in front of trees are frying pans, suit jackets, chalk, and, finally, bridges. Bridges are ranked first in the Book of Racist Things. The only reasons the book lists, though, is that sometimes they're orange. I don't understand things.
-Griffin
Have you ever wondered how much better a nature television show would be if it was about ovens? Like, I mean ovens sliding through the desert in Africa. The ovens could be big, white colored, and extremely heavy, so they slide very slowly. Some Australian guy could be hiding behind a bush observing the oven on the television show and he would be "here we see the Sears Model 85A-CF8 approaching a stream as it performs its daily watering ritual." Then the oven would burst into flames with a grease fire, and it would start sliding through the desert in zig-zag motions with a slightly quicker speed than before.
Why are trees so discriminatory according to the Book of Racist Things? According to the Book of Racist Things, trees rank fourth. The only things in front of trees are frying pans, suit jackets, chalk, and, finally, bridges. Bridges are ranked first in the Book of Racist Things. The only reasons the book lists, though, is that sometimes they're orange. I don't understand things.
-Griffin
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Absurd Flatulence's Two Year Anniversary Post of Extravaganza Beautiful
IT'S TIME ONCE AGAIN FOR ANOTHER YEAR ANNIVERSARY POST OF EXTRAVAGANZA BEAUTIFUL WE HAVEN'T DONE ONE OF THESE IN LIKE A YEAR AHAHAHAH. As you may know, Abflats' real anniversary is on February 14. I like to call this day Abflats Birthday Day. It's clearly the most important, and only, holiday that occurs on this day. I do have to apologize, as well, that this post is not occurring on February 14. Since it is physically and psychologically illegal for Abflats posts to occur on days other than Thursday, the Year Anniversary Post of Extravaganza Beautiful must occur on this Thursday now which is two days before. Last year it was only one day before. Now it's two. I'm so sorry. Don't worry, however, in 2019 the Year Anniversary Post of Extravaganza Beautiful can occur on February 14 so mark your cake calendar readers.
Did you know that it has never occurred to some people that chimneys have feelings too? I mean, that's like saying, "we're open 24/7 Monday through Friday." We need to stop oppressing them. They even picketed sometime in 2013 so they could get the right to vote. No one knows exactly when they started though. But on Thanksgiving morning the people of a town in northern Idaho woke up to like fifty brick chimneys just standing upright in their town park. No movement whatsoever. Just square, brick spires as far as the eye could see. They also found small, square picket signs with "chimneys are people too" written in red paint. No news actually reported it because of the horrifying images that would have been shown to people.
What if salt ruled the world? Like, the leader of every country was just a pile of salt. This could be portrayed in action movies about the Cold War too. "Sir! We need to set up international sanctions against the Russians!" then the camera quickly pans to a spilled salt shaker on top of the oval office desk. The president would be the only salt character in the movie too, since the movie would be trying to emulate real world situations. It would be the greatest action movie ever too. M. Night. Shmaeolaye901eon could direct it. Then at the end you find out that the salt has actually been calcium nitrate instead. It would be the most extreme extreme twist extreme in all movie kind.
Have you ever considered the type of letters in the Finnish alphabet? I mean, they're probably the same letters as ours. I have literally no experience at all with the Finnish language. They probably use shapes to speak. When you want a glass of water you somehow speak a square. It would get confused with asking for a crude oil drink as well because to get one of those you have to speak rectangle. It could be unbelievable if you use some shape that's unbelievable like one with sixteen dimensions.
In closing, I would like to thank all those trees out there for their continued support. I mean as like beams and house frames and stuff. They're really handy. Without wood our houses would be mostly nothing and we would be living in an empty plot with all our stuff. We'd still have plumbing though so that's okay I guess. On the other hand, trees are responsible for the mass murder of the world's elephants. How could you, trees? And to think we trusted you. That's it trees I no longer wish to thank you. You suck, trees.
-Griffin
Did you know that it has never occurred to some people that chimneys have feelings too? I mean, that's like saying, "we're open 24/7 Monday through Friday." We need to stop oppressing them. They even picketed sometime in 2013 so they could get the right to vote. No one knows exactly when they started though. But on Thanksgiving morning the people of a town in northern Idaho woke up to like fifty brick chimneys just standing upright in their town park. No movement whatsoever. Just square, brick spires as far as the eye could see. They also found small, square picket signs with "chimneys are people too" written in red paint. No news actually reported it because of the horrifying images that would have been shown to people.
What if salt ruled the world? Like, the leader of every country was just a pile of salt. This could be portrayed in action movies about the Cold War too. "Sir! We need to set up international sanctions against the Russians!" then the camera quickly pans to a spilled salt shaker on top of the oval office desk. The president would be the only salt character in the movie too, since the movie would be trying to emulate real world situations. It would be the greatest action movie ever too. M. Night. Shmaeolaye901eon could direct it. Then at the end you find out that the salt has actually been calcium nitrate instead. It would be the most extreme extreme twist extreme in all movie kind.
Have you ever considered the type of letters in the Finnish alphabet? I mean, they're probably the same letters as ours. I have literally no experience at all with the Finnish language. They probably use shapes to speak. When you want a glass of water you somehow speak a square. It would get confused with asking for a crude oil drink as well because to get one of those you have to speak rectangle. It could be unbelievable if you use some shape that's unbelievable like one with sixteen dimensions.
In closing, I would like to thank all those trees out there for their continued support. I mean as like beams and house frames and stuff. They're really handy. Without wood our houses would be mostly nothing and we would be living in an empty plot with all our stuff. We'd still have plumbing though so that's okay I guess. On the other hand, trees are responsible for the mass murder of the world's elephants. How could you, trees? And to think we trusted you. That's it trees I no longer wish to thank you. You suck, trees.
-Griffin
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Miguel It's February
Windows. AHEHAHEHAEHAEHAHEHEHEAHEHAHEEHAHEHEHAEH. I bet that you were not expecting that. I would invite you in for some expecting that, but that's something you would need to have brought beforehand. It's really disgusting when you realize that Snakes on a Plane was a real movie that exists. Samuel L. Jackson was in it I mean come on. It's a really sad thing to think about. Especially after you consider the absolute value of plus. It equals two.
One day we'll all look back on our lives and remember that one time where there were trees and stuff. It's a day we'll all consider to be our favorite of days, the one with the trees and stuff. But moreover, there shouldn't be a time where we forget the day with the trees and stuff, because that day shouldn't be filled with ponds. Like, the small bodies of water. Sometimes they house goldfish. It's really an opinion based prospect. I can't disagree with you more.
If you thought about it, the Earth being a light-year in diameter would really put a damper on things. I mean, Abflats would come out a year later for some of you people if you were on the other side of the Earth. That's insane talk. Would we be able to even connect wirelessly if we were a light-year away from eachother? Maybe. I guess it all depends on adult diapers. We really need to grasp the idea that refrigerators are criminals.
-Griffin
One day we'll all look back on our lives and remember that one time where there were trees and stuff. It's a day we'll all consider to be our favorite of days, the one with the trees and stuff. But moreover, there shouldn't be a time where we forget the day with the trees and stuff, because that day shouldn't be filled with ponds. Like, the small bodies of water. Sometimes they house goldfish. It's really an opinion based prospect. I can't disagree with you more.
If you thought about it, the Earth being a light-year in diameter would really put a damper on things. I mean, Abflats would come out a year later for some of you people if you were on the other side of the Earth. That's insane talk. Would we be able to even connect wirelessly if we were a light-year away from eachother? Maybe. I guess it all depends on adult diapers. We really need to grasp the idea that refrigerators are criminals.
-Griffin
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