I honestly have no idea how in the world I'm ever going to top last week's post. Like, I've been sick for the past three days, because that's how I do, and I still haven't got a clue if the last post could possibly be any better. I mean, I could talk about tires, large animals that maul people's faces to strip malls, or even mailmen. The list is endless. Like literally, the whole rest of this post could be a list of things that I could talk about right this second. But instead I'm talking about how I could talk about talking about things. ISN'T THAT IRONIC. Meaning that is has an abundance of iron in its blood. I've heard an excess amount of zinc causes photosynthesis.
I have nothing else to talk about really. I could talk about Absurd Flatulence's one year anniversary extravaganza coming up next month. But no one wants to hear about that. No one wants to hear any of this text. That would be creepy. This is text. It makes no noise. Can you imagine being at home reading some random text about nothing you found on the internet, and then all of a sudden it was being read to you? It would be like you getting an adrenaline shot right after you drink tons of coffee. It makes no sense, and is redundant. It's a scary life you live.
Could you imagine, for a moment, a tree that had a face but actually didn't? You can't right? No one can. It can't be done. You're lying to yourself if you think it can be done. I'm going to punch you in your face if you continue to back talk me. This is the third paragraph, which means it's the final paragraph. It doesn't have to be, I suppose. But it will be. There is no stopping the inevitable. I cannot understate the value that is brought together by leafy leafy goods. Goodbye.
-Griffin
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