Nostril Pudding

Good afternoon. I am taking a break right at this moment to write this post that you are reading at this point in time at this exact moment now with your eyes. I know for a fact that you are reading this post at this exact moment because if you weren't you wouldn't be able to know that I was telling a lie. Unless, of course, you had someone read this post to you, that wouldn't be the case. This is a flaw in my plan. You would be quite weird if you were reading this to someone else. Why would you do that? Don't you know being able to read out loud is a myth? I cannot believe that you would do this.

I wanted to take this time to update your knowledge base about Michigan. If you don't currently have a knowledge base about Michigan, I will first fill you in on some basic information. First of all, Michigan is an unclassified province in Canada America that is shaped like someone trying to stab a mitten. Why would someone want to stab a mitten, we don't know, but that's Michigan. Anyway, I wanted to tell you all that Michigan has changed its name to Canadian Sespadez. I am still trying to get an interview with Michigan scheduled so I can let you know anything about why it did this. Waste bins that live in my town have said something about mathematicians being responsible. That's all they've said. I have no idea if it has anything to do with Canadian Sespadez or bacon helmets. Really. I cannot, under any circumstances, feel for the cacti. They have to do that themselves, I'm not their mother.

I got a little off topic there. Really though, Michigan is now called Canadian Sespadez. Just like what happened to Iceland in the 1940s. Same exact situation. I just heard that Canadian Sespadez wants to with you a happy November. It's been November for like, fourteen days now. Canadian Sespadez really wanted me to tell you though, so there's that. Apparently the entire month is a holiday to Canadian Sespadez. What have you done. 

-Griffin